Kids in London – Pee for free?

Sorry to have to tackle such a lavatorial theme but it really is a problem in London these days – with young kids (who usually need to go NOW) is there any alternative to carrying around a pocket full of 20p?

Let’s start with the rail network. Most mainline stations – Victoria, Liverpool Street, Euston, Kings Cross etc - require you to deposit 20p each to enter the loos. Often, these loos are not very nice either – frequently with several cubicles out of action. Sometimes, the attendants (who are often not around as you enter) adopt a “children enter free” approach but Mums (and Dads) still have to pay even if they are only accompanying a small person.

Yet despite being charged to pee at Waterloo main line station (and having to alert the attendant for the key for the ground level toilet – otherwise you have to navigate the stairs), a five minute walk (admittedly not always an option with youngsters who need to go urgently and certainly not something to contemplate with a buggy) takes you to Waterloo East station where – as long as you have a ticket - you can pee for free. And you can pee for free on most trains (providing the loos are working – which is a rare occurrence – and you need a degree in mechanical engineering to work out how to lock the door and a spare set of hands to stop your kids fiddling with the buttons to reveal you mid-flow).

And then at most stations outside of London you can pee for free. Richmond must take the winner’s cup here for having free loos both outside the ticket barriers and on the platforms as well. Clapham Junction gets a smack as they have loos in the underpass (have you tried taking kids down there during rush hour?), a ridiculously narrow entrance turnstile and you have to pay 20p for the privilege of queuing for just three dark cubicles.

Department stores are often the saviours for desperate parents. Special thanks to Debenhams for being loo friendly. Mind you, the big stores tend to put the loos on at least the third floor and right at the back – so you have to navigate your fussing youngster through racks of clothing that are within temptingly close grab space for toddlers in buggies.

Some of the coffee shops are good too – Starbucks gets a big tick here. But then again, quite a few of them have only one cubicle so sometimes you have to wait in a line for the loo. While trying to watch your shopping which you left at the table with your rapidly cooling coffee. Not good with small people who fidget a lot and don’t quite have the bladder control of grown ups.

There are a few remaining free public conveniences – and I have to give a star to London Underground as many of the underground stations have free loos. For example:

Bank station - for when you want to subject your child to a day in the office.
Piccadilly Circus tube station – Now this is what I call central.

Although it’s a big thumbs down to London Underground for Westminster station where the loos cost a massive 50p.

Other free loos are:
Outside the Royal Courts of Justice - for when you just happen to managing a major trial with your kids in tow.
Covent Garden - At the back of the piazza but be warned that there are stairs here too and sometimes you have to fight your way through the crowds watching the street entertainers.

And, in case you were wondering, the shiny new public loos (e.g. outside Holborn and South Kensington tubes) where you have to pay are often unavailable. Recent press reports indicate that this is due to immigrant workers using them as safe, dry rooms for the night…But if you do find one that is vacant you have to be a bit swift to avoid being hosed down and disinfected while you hold your toddler on the way out.

Personally, I hate to see parents encourage their kids to pee in the streets but what alternative do you have when there are no loos? So any other ideas folks? Where else can desperate parents count on a clean, free loo with happy attendants where they can pee for free in London??? Is this a job for the next Mayor of London?

Or perhaps we should build a map of the “pee for free” places in central London?

:cry: