Unhelpful Information

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Sooz
Since: Jan 2006
Posts: 764
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Posted: Tuesday the 16th December 2008 at 12:53


Unhelpful Information


I was speaking to a first-time pregnant friend last night, who mentioned how she's been receiving lots of unhelpful advice and information since people found out her status as 'mum-to-be'. It took me back to when I was pregnant and people felt a sudden need to impart their wordly wisdom on me too. My friend said how the worst thing was women telling their birthing horror stories in a 'I'm only trying to warn you and am being nice really' kind of way.... I just don't get this - no-one goes into pregnancy thinking that the baby will suddenly be able to morph into a 1cm thin snake-like being in order to make its journey to the outside world where it then pings back into a baby shape. All women know it's unlikely to be easy, so why can't people just leave it there. The smugness of the women who tell of their 105 hour labours as though they're such martyrs is sooo annoying
Angry Bangin





Daisy2002
Since: May 2004
Posts: 2109
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Posted: Wednesday the 17th December 2008 at 14:10


In all honesty i didn't think about labour when i was pregnant with my 1st son. I'm also one of those people who thinks that labour wasn't 'that' painful.

I don't ever tell women stories to scare them, i tell them facts & thats it.

Having had 5 kids & lots of problems & complications i feel that i know enough to be able to give informed info.

I can tell you that an induced birth with my 1st & 3rd babies weren't too bad.... although the 3rd one did end in an emergency c-section.

When i was induced with my daughter who was stillborn it was the most horrendous pain i've ever felt in my whole life. A stillborn induction & labour is a lot more painful than any other labour & the pain was so bad i wanted to die.

I have to admit i don't have much sympathy for women who moan about their aches & pains..... god i sound like a heartless cow lol.

I've suffered the most extreme pain with the induction of my 1st daughter & when i had the abruption with my 2nd daughter..... where i hemorraged, had a constant contraction (due to abruption) & my body was going into shock.
I just think feel that kind of pain & you would realise that labour pain isn't as bad as it could be.

If you 'go with the flow' when it labour it isn't too bad.
Its when you panic that it's likely to hurt a bit more.


"Love all. Trust a few. Do wrong to none."

Sooz
Since: Jan 2006
Posts: 764
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Posted: Thursday the 18th December 2008 at 13:07


Wow - sounds like you've been through it all! Definitely the right person to turn to if anyone needs information/advice! I had an emergency c-section with my daughter and am now wondering for next time whether an elected c-section or trying it naturally first would be better?? Something about inducing a baby before it wants to come out naturally doesn't seem quite right, but going through the same birthing process again and that pain isn't too appealing either...what do you think?


Daisy2002
Since: May 2004
Posts: 2109
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Posted: Saturday the 20th December 2008 at 07:54


Hey hun.
I wish i hadn't written my other post cos i think it came across as rude & heartless esp as everyone deals with pain differently.

After my c-section i fell pregnant quite quickly. I really wanted a VBAC.
It wasn't the pain of the c-section that was bothering, it was being stuck in hospital for 3+ days that was bothing me lol.
I asked & was basically told no because they wanted me to have the baby at 34wks. At 34wks they deemed that the safest & earliest time they could my baby. I was told if i went into labour before my c-section date i could have a 'trial of labour'. However i knew i wouldn't go into labour & they don't like to induce labour if you already have had a c-section.

If you do got for a VBAC i believe they need to monitor you carefully incase of a uterine rupture but i have heard of plenty of women who've had successful vbacs.

I would consider all the options & speak to your consultant.

I'm not pregnant yet (praying for a 2009 baby).
I found out from my lovely gyne doctor that my consultant has moved to australia..... how rude Laughing
He's abandoned me Laughing
To be fair to him, he is going loads of research over there but i can't believe he just left before i'd finished having all my babies Smug

Are you pregnant now or hoping to get pregnant?


"Love all. Trust a few. Do wrong to none."

Sooz
Since: Jan 2006
Posts: 764
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Posted: Friday the 2nd January 2009 at 11:15


We decided to start trying again in 2009, so I guess this is it now Scared Maybe by next Christmas we'll have another little one to join us!! Not sure how on earth we'll fit 2 kids plus relatives and presents into the house, maybe we'll have to move too Bangin


Sooz
Since: Jan 2006
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Posted: Friday the 2nd January 2009 at 11:17


Hope you manage to get pregnant again soon too, even without your Gyne here - I agree... very rude to disappear off without even consulting you first Laughing


MarVel
Since: Nov 2010
Posts: 36
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Posted: Tuesday the 16th November 2010 at 13:44


Hi ladies!
I'm pregnant right now with my first baby.
Though I'm only on the 8th week, I'm reading lots of stuff about the birth and I'm really getting more and more worried as there are lots of scary stories of how painful and awful it is.
So I think we should also start a theme "Harmful Information"
Actually this is a natural process. Our body is made for it! Besides we have all those hospitals and doctors to help us, to ease our pain and to save our lives and lives of our babies!
I guess we should support pregnant women, help them to overcome their fears and get self-confidence! The more scared you are, the worse it will go, the more pain you will get through the birth.

My husband is always trying to calm me down when I get especcially worried, but it makes me even more mad! He's a man! It's easy to say for him! Caz he doesn't have to do anything!


Sooz
Since: Jan 2006
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Posted: Wednesday the 17th November 2010 at 13:53


Wow MarVel - HUGE congratulation to you!!! You must be thrilled, although I guess it's still a time when you have to be cautiously optimistic that things will go fine beyond the crucial 12 week mark...fingers crossed all the way...!!

So how are you feeling? You really shouldn't worry about the birth (i know that's so easy to say), but what will be will be and you can't really alter things all that much. Just focus on keeping yourself fit and healthy so that you have better stamina and ping back into shape more quickly afterwards!

Keep us posted on how you get on over the next weeks and months!

x


MarVel
Since: Nov 2010
Posts: 36
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Posted: Thursday the 18th November 2010 at 08:14


Thank you, Soozie! =)

As for now, I feel great! Happy to be a future mommy. And physically I'm not experiencing any discomfort I heard and read about other women have in the first 12 weeks. Not even feeling sick. That's a relief)

So I hope I'll keep working till the last month as I believe social life is very important. I don't like the idea of sitting at home as if pregnancy is some kind of illness. My elder sister actually quited her job when she was about on the 3rd month. Her husband agreed and she was happy to sit at home doing nothing, watching TV so that there would be no stress for her and no overfatigue. I think she's being lazy. She gained weight easily. I think I would just drive mad if I had to sit there alone!

I'm going to the pool starting from next week - I think it's essential to do some sport. My husband will join me. I have loads of energy! Maybe that's because of the vitamins though)

I was surprised that a doctor could already hear a heart beat of my baby (though I'm only on the 7th week!) And also I was given a "photo" taken by US-devise, but all I could see there was just a small spot)
By the way, I heard that this ultra-sound-scanning is not very good for the baby so you better do it only if there is a real need.

Actually I always thought when I was younger that it can't happen to me and won't. As there just isn't a man whome I can trust so much to have a baby with him. Now look at me! I'm so happy!)))


Sooz
Since: Jan 2006
Posts: 764
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Posted: Sunday the 12th December 2010 at 15:05


Great that you're feeling so positive about the pregnancy and that you're feeling so well... great news!

x









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