Kettners

The last time I visited Kettners the food fell short of my expectations, to the point where on this, my second visit, I have merited a flustering (for me that is) apology from the chef, akin to those moments when the waiter approaches to ask how your meal is and your mouth is full of bread, which sprays out like a firework of crumbs as you try to mumble “lovely, thank you”. Anyway, on this occasion the food is vastly superior, which brings me to the debate of whether it is possible for a kitchen to dramatically improve its standards if a reviewer/blogger/critic is in attendance.

Take for instance the beef bourguignon, which has been cooked for six hours. The result is meat that falls apart immediately when touched, its delicate savouriness highlighted by salty bacon, juicy button mushrooms and sweet carrots. Another French classic, coq au vin, requires similar dedication as the chicken needs to be monitored carefully so that it tenderises. It lacks the teensiest bit of salt but the meat is soft and the buttery parsley mash soaks up the jus nicely; these are not dishes that can be whizzed up in an instant.

We also like the crunchy flavoursome green beans, the Cornish mussels which arrive in a piping hot creamy sauce with parsley and the refreshing Maldon oysters with the mineral taste of the sea. In fact our only gripe is the bread, which is so tough it has to be pulled like an elastic band to break apart.

Perhaps we should have road tested the crème brulee since last time it was so disastrous, but instead we opt for the lemon tart, a thin pastry base topped with a zesty mousse and partnered with a dollop of crème fraiche, and the alluring – new we are told – white chocolate and champagne mousse on meringue, with strawberry sorbet and a slab of milk chocolate, which combines sweet with zingy.

There is no doubt Kettners is more than capable of producing good food, hence the full dining room tonight.

Kettner’s has a remarkable history. Having opened in 1867 (by the chef to Napoleon III no less), it became a favourite haunt of Oscar Wilde and Edward VIII. In more recent years the lavish décor seemed a little at odds with its embodiment of a pizzeria, but it worked nonetheless and became a Soho fixture. Despite its success the days of serving affordable dough-based meals are over, as the menu has changed dramatically to match its flamboyant interior.

Furthermore, Kettner’s have decided to add a touch of kitsch to the proceedings by hosting Chansons & Champagne every Wednesday evening in the glamorous Champagne Bar, where singers dressed in 1940s garb perform swing songs to a well-heeled audience. It’s all incredibly chic, but sadly the Brasserie doesn’t live up to Kettner’s swanky expectations as there are a number of things wrong with the food. The crotin of goat’s cheese may as well be deep fried balls of Philadelphia, while the mild sourness of roast cod is completely at odds with a bland tomato compote that manages to make the mountain of rocket it is served with taste unpleasantly bitter. A starter consisting of thin layers of smoked salmon and potato galette i.e. crispy balls of grated potato and onion is far better, and the tender fillet steak with a peppercorn crust and a delectable port and stilton sauce is also very good. Unfortunately one of the desserts is sacrilegious; the eggs in the crème brulee have been cooked too quickly, resulting in an unappetising curdled mess, and while the banofee pie is tasty it has metamorphosed into a pastry tart with a chopped syrupy banana.

The interior is delightful and the entertainment full of charm, but the kitchen needs improving, particularly seeing as a three course meal for two with wine will set you back around £120.