Crap Film Club Presents "Hard Ticket To Hawaii"

Hard Ticket to Hawaii is a 1987 action thriller film directed and written by Andy Sidaris. Scantily-clad crime fighters Donna and Taryn stumble across a cache of diamonds whilst flying tourists along the sun-drenched Hawaiian islands. The gems belong to Seth Romero, seedy bar owner/crime kingpin, who sends his eccentric goons after the busty duo. As if that weren’t enough, the girls have another problem in the slithery form of a toxin-infected snake that snuck aboard their plane and is now snarfing hapless tourists across the island. Not to worry, because the girls have an ally in oh-so-buff-and-handsome D.E.A. agent Rowdy Abilene who arrives with his ponytailed karate expert pal, Jade. Aided by a transvestite spy and a bikini-clad musclewoman, Romero abducts pneumatic undercover agent Edy Stark, prompting Rowdy and the girls to ride to the rescue!

Join us this September to keep the summer vibe alive as we celebrate the crowning achievement in the filmography of Andy Sidaris. Best known for his "Bullets, Bombs and Babes" series of B-movies produced between 1985 and 1998, Sidaris was originally a pioneer in sports television, directing coverage of hundreds of football matches, basketball games and Olympic events before expanding into film. Specializing in action flicks featuring buxom gun-toting Playboy Playmates and Penthouse Pets with titles like "Fit to Kill" and "Savage Beach", most of Sidaris' "Triple B" series (later given the title L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies) focused on the adventures of a team of secret agents and were mostly filmed in Hawaii. Although the series featured recurring characters, continuity between films was not a priority and it was common for an actress who played a villain (and was killed off) in one film to re-appear in a subsequent film as a hero.

Hard Ticket to Hawaii has developed a cult following due to its over-the-top violence, cheesy dialogue, unintentional humor, and overall absurdity, and is very well known among "bad movie" lovers. So do come along for a drink (or several!), some snacks, the chance to win a crappy prize in our competition, and to experience the film described by Paste magazine as the "best B movie of all time."

"Drink some really cheap liquor and sit down for ninety minutes of one of the worst – and yet best – perpetrations of film abuse ever committed." - The Moderate Voice

"Eight breasts. 15 corpses. Message in a sandwich. Razorblade Frisbee. Sumo wrestling. Cross dressing. Kung fu fighting. Exploding toilet." - DVD Talk

"We love this film and highly recommend it. It's a must see." - Stinker Madness

"This is the one with the skateboarding assassin inexplicably wielding an inflatable sex-doll." - The Spinning Image

"Hard Ticket To Hawaii is insane. It may not be any good but it is a lot of fun." - Unobtainium 13

"Truly the work of a b-movie master!" - Simplistic Reviews