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We all know that guy (or sometimes gal - but let's face it, they've usually got too much class) who swears blind they can eat the hottest curry on the menu. They're idiots. They're the same person who takes their top off in the middle of a dance-floor and does one-handed press-ups. It's OK though, for they are about to provide you with some genuine entertainment...
Escort them down to one of the eateries featured on our list below, order them a hot house speciality (and yourself a korma, obviously, for you are not an idiot), sit back and watch the fireworks. And the sweating. And nose running. And tearful toilet text the following morning. (We don't like to be graphic but it's all part of the fun.)
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Ouch! Restaurants serving London's hottest curries
The notorious phall curry is so intense there have been reports in the media of people crying, hallucinating and even being rushed to hospital after eating it. Made with naga chillies, you won’t find phall in India as it’s a western creation which is more of a competitive sport than a culinary experience, but if you fancy trying it head to Brick Lane’s Aladin.
Vindaloo is one of the hottest curries going, and the chicken and lamb versions at this slick City restaurant don’t disappoint. Alternatively try their hearty lentil-based dansak, another eye-watering dish.
This is the UK’s oldest Indian restaurant and one of London’s most refined, but that hasn’t stopped them from producing sweat-inducing curries like the roast duck vindaloo. That being said, the slow-roasted duck in sweet, hot and sour vindaloo masala is as complex in flavour as it is fiery.
Make sure there’s plenty of water on the table before you tuck into Suda’s jungle chicken curry. The dish leaves out coconut cream which is what usually calms down the heat in Thai curries. Listed on the menu as having an “intermediate” level of heat, you can ask the kitchen to turn it up to “advanced” if you’re feeling brave.
This neighbourhood restaurant in the Earl’s Court area has a celebrity following, and one of its fans is the famously fussy-eating Gwyneth Paltrow. We’re not sure whether she would order the rogan josh but we like to imagine her attempting to remain composed while ploughing through this scorching curry.
Sichuan food is renowned for its use of spices, which coupled with other robust ingredients like fish paste, mustard and ginger makes for very distinctive, and at times intense dishes. Sichuan Folk is one of London’s most authentic Sichuan restaurants, and among their hottest options is the curry beef.
Although Kam Tong is Cantonese (generally a milder cuisine than that of its Chinese neighbours), there’s a very snappy Hunanese curry on the menu. The food in Hunan, in the northern part of the country, is famous for its heat.
The Bollywood Burner at this acclaimed restaurant is so hot you have to sign a disclaimer before tucking in. Made with naga chillies, it’s too extreme to have on the menu but can be made upon request.
Many Vietnamese restaurants serve dishes with fresh chillies on the side for you to add at your will, however the bun curry at Café East arrives heavily spiced, but on a bed of noodles and salad for cooling purposes.
The world’s hottest chilli is the naga, cultivated in India where it’s also used by the military to make hand grenades. So fierce are theseplump little chillies that chefs attempting to break records by cooking with them have to wear gas masks. Still want to try eating them? Then head to Spice Fusion and try their balti naga, but don’t say we didn’t warn you.