Metro
London’s most long-standing free newspaper (launched in 1999), it’s akin to gold dust at peak times, when commuters desperately hunt for reading material so as to avoid peering eyes and have something better to do than feel miserable when the inevitable signal failure sets in. The fact that it’s owned by Associated Newspapers (the same group that owns the Daily Mail) explains the sensationalist headlines and moral tone it adopts when reporting as much sleaze and gossip as possible. Their reporting may leave a lot to be desired if you’re after anything more than a frivolous 20 minutes, but on the plus side their food and travel sections are very good.
Read by: Everyone who takes the tube, apart from the people it annoys, i.e. Daily Mail haters and Guardian readers (ok, same thing).
Find it: At stands for approximately 7 minutes each morning before they’ve all disappeared. After that they may be found crumpled up on seats, nestled amongst crisp packets and cans of drink.
The London Paper
Rupert Murdoch’s News International launched the London Paper in September 2006. Murdoch’s plan was to provide a free afternoon alternative to the Evening Standard, and eventually make a bid for the Metro, however he did not reckon that the Metro’s owners would launch their very own afternoon freesheet. The ensuing battle damaged sales of the Standard, which led to its acquisition by Lebedev and making it a free paper. The paper closed in 2009.
Read by: People who weren’t happy with the horoscope reading the Evening Standard gave them.
Find it: In the annals of history, and seeing as it was part of the Murdoch Empire, perhaps copies will one day be displayed in a museum of horrors.
London Lite
Yet another free paper, owned by Associated Newspapers, launched in 2006 to compete with the above, eventually prompting Westminster Council to complain about the increase in litter in an otherwise pristine borough. It was a joyous old time when distributors of the Lite and the London Paper jostled for space outside tube stations desperate to outdo each other. Then the Standard became a freesheet, sparking an even more ferocious war. Before Derry House (offices of London Lite and Metro) went up in flames the paper was closed in 2009. As its name suggested it contained plenty of showbiz gossip and light-hearted fare.
Read by: People who weren’t happy with the horoscope reading the London Paper gave them.
Find it: In the Metro, as they were essentially one and the same, just available at different times of the day.
\n\nEvening Standard
The granddaddy of London papers, the Evening Standard was founded in 1827. After a loss in readership it became a free paper in 2009, when Russian billionaire and former KGB spy Alexander Lebedev (who also owns The Independent) bought a 75% share in the paper for only £1. Amongst the most common complaint was that the paper had become too negative, but it also suffered when new freebies like London Lite appeared. Notably, Brian Sewell, who once stated Banksy “should have been put down at birth” and who has branded Tracey Emin as little more than an illiterate whore, is the paper’s art critic.
Read by: Evening commuters as the paper comes out in the afternoon, and those who haven’t found any other reading material throughout the day.
Find it: Handed out by smiley distributors at tube stations. They’re happy the war with the other freesheet distributors is over, and they’ve won.
The London Weekly
No one really knows anything about The London Weekly. No one ever read it, let alone saw an issue. Apparently it launched in 2010, and the few copies that were printed had the misfortune of landing in the hands of journalists and other media insiders who were quick to point out misspellings (the cardinal sin of “it’s” instead of “its”), articles that were little more than pasted press releases and grammatical faux pas (“Jude Law Maturing Into Happiness”). To the surprise (or interest) of no one, the paper “officially” closed in October 2011, although it was hardly making a splash in the months before that.
Read by: We’ve touched upon their lack of readership already, but given the paper’s flaws it’s worth adding it also was not read by any editors, sub-editors, or in fact any of the writers responsible for their own pieces.
Find it: On the Guardian website, where the paper’s launch is dissected in humorous fashion.
\n\nCity AM
Another daily paper, it’s aimed squarely at the financial sector, and is owned privately by a group of entrepreneurs. As well as focusing largely on Italy’s debt and expressing outrage at student protests, there are lifestyle features and property pages. Glossier than other papers and in full colour, despite being free their website feels it necessary to point out that “our readers are professionals, in full-time work and with an average salary of over £87,000 per annum – well over three times the national average”, as if picking up a copy automatically enters you into some sort of exclusive club.
Read by: Anyone who frequents a Central London tube station in theory, but most people not in banking will find the contents too boring.
Find it: The obvious places like the City and Canary Wharf, plus nearby recycling bins.
Sport
2009 was a terrible year for publishing, as Sport, London’s free weekly sports magazine very nearly ceased trading after its parent company in France went bankrupt. UTV, formerly known as Ulster TV, stepped up and the colour mag continues to be distributed at tube stations every Friday. The publication does what it says on the cover, featuring football, cricket, tennis, rugby, etc., with a slightly upmarket slant.
Read by: Males aged 25 – 40. And absolutely nobody else, because girls don’t like sport.
Find it: At your local tube station on a Friday morning, handed out by males aged 25 – 40.
