London’s member’s clubs vary, but what they do have in common are annual membership fees, and in most cases, prospective members need to be recommended by an existing member and/or vetted by a committee. There is usually - but not always - going to be some form of glitz, but this could be anything from a brightly lit neon lounge complete with champagne taps on the tables, or dripping chandeliers and period armchairs, there are notably austere exceptions however. If there is music it’s going to be far from ground-breaking and will likely be reserved to background muzak or chart hits, but then these clubs aren’t meant to cater specifically to music lovers. The idea of a private member’s club is to provide an environment for individuals to mingle, drink and eat, whether it’s in a calm and relaxed haven like Black’s, or a rowdy late night party venue like the Met Bar (OK, so the latter had its heyday when All Saints were still popular). Luckily for us plebs it is no longer essential to be a minor royal to get in (in most cases), although there is still likely to be some form of stipulation, like being a creative professional, or hailing from Scotland.
Amongst the most famous – not to mention the oldest - London member’s clubs are the super exclusive Raffles in Chelsea, and the equally VIP Annabel’s on Berkeley Square, the latter a favourite playground of aristocrats and wealthy celebs. The epitome of elitism, there is a severe dress code. No collarless shirts, untucked shorts, leather or suede garments, T-shirts, leggings (clearly for the best) or boots are permitted. Member’s ex-wives are not allowed onto the premises for some reason, and to be able to dine or dance the night away here in the company of Tom Parker-Bowles and Hugh Grant you must fork out £1,000 annually and be recommended by two members.
\n\nWhere Annabel’s is for the uber-moneyed classes, the opulent Bungalow 8 and the townhouse-chic of the Groucho Club are far more media-oriented, if equally starry. The former has a sister branch in New York and is beloved of London’s fashion crowd and its hangers-on (that’s Peaches Geldof, Kelly Osbourne and all other questionable offspring), while the charming, if somewhat labyrinthine building that the Groucho inhabits is the preferred haunt of many a rock star - during the heady day of Britpop Alex James, Keith Allen and Damien Hirst were to be found propping up the bar most nights of the week. Membership at the Groucho is restricted to prominent members of the arts and there is currently a two year waiting list. On one occasion Al Pacino was turned away at the door after being mistaken for a tramp, so no one is guaranteed entry, no matter how many times they’ve played a mobster in Hollywood.
So where can non-celebrities go? A considerable sum of money is obviously still going to be needed even if membership isn’t restricted to the A-list. Currently the capital’s hottest member’s club is Shoreditch House. Run by the same people as Soho House (and incidentally, Pizza East, Café Boheme, Cecconi’s and Dean Street Townhouse) the premise is the same: a rooftop swimming pool, luxurious bedrooms, and a fashionable crowd which used to be arty but is now mostly composed of City types. It’s a tad easier to get in than at the Groucho or certainly Annabel’s, however that may be set to change as getting a table is becoming nigh on impossible most nights – surely the whole point of joining such an establishment in the first place. Cosy Broadway House on Fulham Broadway has a vaguely similar layout to Shoreditch House, with a restaurant, bar, roof terrace with barbecue (but sans swimming pool), a children’s area and film screenings planned for the future, the idea being that it will be a “home away from home” for its members, even if it is in Fulham. It’s open till 1 am every night of the week and the restaurant, Brasa, serves quality British food.
\n\nFor peace and quiet there is Black’s on Dean Street, perhaps the capital’s most beautifully quaint member’s club. Housed within a Georgian townhouse, it’s a myriad of creaky staircases, elegant dining rooms with fireplaces and Hogarth prints on the walls, in fact much of the beautiful furnishings seem to be left over from the 18th century. From the outside you could easily blink and miss the entrance, fitting given that this haunt aims to provide respite from the crazy area that surrounds it; you’ll find no music blaring, mobile phones ringing or anyone bothering to look up at who you are.
The polar opposite of this experience can be had at glamour model favourite Mo*vida, or at One For One, where it’s all about leggy girls in slinky dresses and Russian millionaires spending thousands on champagne (the most expensive choice on the menu is an £80,000 Nebuchadnezzar, in other words 20 bottles’ worth of bubbly). Commercial dance anthems and hip hop blast out of the speakers, the club has glitzy private rooms and seats that need to be reserved beforehand if you want to sit down at any point throughout the night. Membership is £500 a year and so far there’s been a queue at the door every weekend since it opened.
Far less showy is Milk & Honey, where the number one house rule is “No name-dropping, no star f***ing”. This speakeasy-style bar is open to non-members before 11 pm, otherwise membership is a mere £250, or £400 if you want access to all six London venues run by this group, as well as the original New York club. Additionally, men are strictly forbidden from chatting up women – if a damsel sees someone who takes her fancy she can ask the barman to introduce them, making this the ideal club for anyone who wishes to be left alone, as well as the shy and the socially inept.
