... or rely on having London in the title.
Furthermore, while London Calling is arguably the best track ever written about the city (insert Waterloo Sunset/Guns of Brixton/Common People etc as desired), you won’t find it on here, because it’s needless to say.
Local Pride
Rapper Wiley shows his love for the neighbourhood where he grew up on grime track Bow E3, where he hammers home his point by repeating the postcode ad infinitum. “The whole of E3's got so much talent/I hope you see” he says, and fellow E3 grimesters Tinchy Stryder and Dizzee Rascal would certainly be in accordance.
Thirty years earlier punk band Cockney Rejects released East End, a song that sounds somewhere halfway between an angry working class protest song and a football chant, however the lyrics describe their local area in legitimate detail (“Get a 69 bus to Canning Town”) and end with the priceless “So you can stick to your seaside/Your beaches and sand/Cos we've got the best home in the land.”
Cock Sparrer demonstrate a clear infatuation with the females of East London in East End Girls, which opens with the line “When she's hot it's the heat of a burning at the stake/And when she's cold it's the chill of a frozen Moscow lake”. All hail the West Ham femme fatale, or perhaps the band have watched too much film noir.
“I like that kind of life” sings Beverly Martyn on Primrose Hill, a coffee table anthem for the smart NW1 set, although the closing “Do you like that kind of life?” hints sarcastically - does she actually enjoy resting on the grass of the hill, watching the sun set? Or does the extortionate price of a bag of carrots at the deli on Regent’s Park Road send her into a fury?
\n\nObservations
In 1979 David Byrne sang that in London it’s “dark, dark in the daytime” as he mused on different destinations around the world, presumably in the midst of booking a holiday. The song Cities also states that Birmingham is full of ghosts and rich people, but why this midlands location popped up amongst his considerations we’ll never know.
Before the Being a Dickhead’s Cool parody of East London’s trendies made waves in cyberspace, Half Man Half Biscuit were depicting the cool kids of Camden in Four Skinny Indie Kids, about aspiring musicians who are “forever slagging off the majors till they dangle us their wages”. MJ Hibbet also expressed his ire towards wannabe bands on Bands From London Are Shit with the wonderfully elocuent “we think we're well hard, but all we are is stuck-up inbred upper class twits”. He later explained/backtracked by saying the song’s theme is in fact “bands who have believed everything they have ever read in the music press… who have more money than actual talent and are generally (but by no means exclusively) found within the confines of the M25 are shit" but this title just wouldn’t catch on.
\n\nThe Dark Side
No one can purvey misery in upbeat tones quite like The Pogues can, and on Dark Streets of London they wallow in gloom to the sound of an accordion and a merry Irish jig. “I can’t stand the chill that comes to the streets around Christmas time” sings Shane McGowan. We know just how you feel Shane.
Al Stewart’s 1977 lament Old Compton Street Blues tells the story of how a young girl falls into prostitution in Soho via failed movie and modelling careers; even more naïve is Ocean Colour Scene’s Chelsea Walk, “I went down to Chelsea Walk where the sun doesn’t shine at all”. It’s still a fair deal brighter than Moseley.
Dizzee Rascal’s I Luv U rhymes Michelle with Chantelle and Shennelle in a scathing ditty about underage pregnancy. While there is no specific reference to London in the track, Dizzee’s first hit struck a chord amongst many who have hooked up with at least one Chantelle in their time. Before grime’s heyday Blak Twang was already rapping about Deptford and its associated frustrations on Real Estate.
The SE8 area Blak Twang describes is one of unemployment, violence against OAPs and burglaries, a far cry from the New York Times’ 2009 article branding it as some sort of hipster utopia.
Chelsea, Soho, Primrose Hill and Camden may conjure images that are equal parts glamorous and decadent, but Good Shoes decided to write about Morden, along with its skinheads, knife crime, Wilkinson’s, KFC and Pound Shops. Perhaps the boys are simply used to more upmarket outlets.
Happy London
The Wombats tackle East London clubbing, the 80s revival and mephedrone without a hint of irony in Techno Fan. In 1979 Cheddar cheese and pickle and the now defunct Hammersmith Palais (also immortalised in song by The Clash) were amongst Ian Dury’s Reasons To Be Cheerful.
The breadth of Saint Etienne’s album tracks reads like a collection of London newspaper headlines, consider The Leyton Art Inferno and Bird Man of EC1. London Belongs To Me off their 1990 album Foxbase Alpha is a hippy-like ode to a city at its most beautiful, like on those precious days of sunshine when everyone is traipsing down the street in flip flops with flowers in their hair, or something like that.
