Lorenzos

I wish that I could give this a 0 instead of a 1, this is without doubt the worst place I have ever eaten in my entire life. The pizza did not have artichokes as listed on the menu, when I pointed this out the waitress just shrugged. She then said that they didn't have any and I insisted that they change it for something else. The pizza was revolting and greasy, the pate and bread for a starter was cheap and disgusting. The menu states that it is "the best value in town", however the appalling food that they serve is ridiculously overpriced. The atmosphere and service were horrendous, I don't know why we didn't just walk straight out. I really wish we had.

I don't actually understand how they stay open. Looking at their website testimonials from "satisfied customers", they all seem to be from big groups and are probably fake because there is no way they can be talking about the hovel that I had lunch at. Please do not eat here.

This was the worse food I have ever eaten but I want to make the main point without commenting in detail on the horrible food. After eating there, my daughter and I came down with food poisoning to such an extent that the hotel we were staying at nearby, had to call out the paramedics to take her to hospital. Four days later we are still not fully recovered and it has quite spoiled our short holiday in London. We did not eat anything else that day - no breakfast, and felt so queasy in the evening we could not eat dinner - so what can one conclude? I am now in the process of finding out who to report the incident to, especially in the light of the fact that thousands of foreign visitors will be pouring into London this summer....

Should have been put off by the proprieter, who was sitting in a corner eating something with his hands when we went in, and who came over to our table for some reason when we were looking at the menu, still shoving food in his mouth and with food all round his chin - no greeting by the way. Strange for an Italian!!

The thought of the food still makes me want to vomit.

Disgusting food and very annoing waiters. really a cheap place in the middle of one of the most chic parts of London.
the price does not reflect the service and the quality of the food. ridiculous, they should close.

Forget it! don't consider eating at Lorenzos even if you're starving, what you get is not food! I've been there with my boyfriend, and since I'm italian I really wanted a delicious home made italian pizza that evening.
I got a tiny almost invisible FROZEN piece of old bread with some cheap cheese on it. I could taste it was frozen and it still was cold on the top. Never ate something more disgusting.
The owner was going around the table without saying a word...with his long greasy hairm like a very confused person....trust me, you don't want to see such a scene while you're eating!
The staff....they don't even know what to please a customer is....don't leave your money into this AWFUL place! It has nothing to do with italian kitchen, it has nothing to do with italian people!

My wife and I and two teenage children visited during February 2009 half-term. There appeared to be a Samba band rehearsal in the cellar which was noisy but we didn't mind and the waiter checked we were OK with it before we sat down. The good news stops there. You are tempted in by sandwich boards outside offering fixed price menus and special offers but none of these are offered or in evidence inside.
The menu choices look OK but the main courses fail to march their menu description. I have eaten a few variants of pizza capricciosa but none which came with chopped spam and a few chunks of green pepper on a bed of cheap tomato sauce and a pizza base straight out of the birds eye cabinet. Not recommended even if you are desperate. House wine starts at £20 a bottle (we didn't) and there is a standard 15% service charge. If you are stuck in this area there is a 24 hour Sainsburys for a picnic in your hotel or hostel room.

This is the worst restaurant in London ever. My mussels turned up very quick but on tasting there were watery nothing like any mussels I have eaten. The waiter refused to taste the dish and insisted it was ok…eventually he gave up and took the unfinished dish away. The salmon was generally cooked through but the potatoes weren’t cooked properly at all.
I called the waiter over and gave him the potatoes in a glass to take away. Which he did without any comment. As for the calamari after the mussels I wasn’t feeling brave enough to try it.
I paid the bill less the mussels. I asked the waiter if he had any comment on the potatoes and standard of food. He did not respond. I then asked if I had become invisible and again questioned the standard of food. He shrugged and stated well “I am not the chef”.
I waited outside for 10 minutes to direct the next groups of people away from this place.
THIS PLACE IS SO BAD IT’S ON A NEW LEVEL!

Unusally large restaurant catering mainly for tourists, they even have a table reserved for tour guides at the front! It is the first Italian pizzeria restaurant that I have visited that did not have pepperoni pizza! The closest was an Americana which was a mix of undercooked dough, nondescript sausage, yellow peppers and burnt onions - completely inedible. The kids' pasta was overcooked and the sauce was a mix of colouring and no taste.

Service was poor to indifferent and not worthy of the mandatory 15% service charge. Absolutely nothing to recommend this place and it is a sad indication that it survives by preying on unsuspecting tourists who have been lead there by their guides.

The only Italian in the world that manages to screw up a pasta dish. Any ''chef'' that overcooks and burns penne should be castrated and have his gonads fed to him - they would probably taste better than the food at Lorenzos.

Lorenzo himself looks like an overweight version of Hannibal Lector.