Through riot-free Richmond to the cinema to see Bridesmaids

With all the trouble in London and even in nearby Ealing we were unsure whether we ought to be going out at all – was it the stiff upper lip or sheer stupidity that drove us? I met my pal at Richmond station – she had risked public transport from Mill Hill which I thought was incredibly brave – and we were both reassured to see some Police there.

We wandered along Richmond High Street amongst the usual crowd. But both of us noticed that there were a few individuals who didn’t quite look like they fitted in – and they seemed to be casing the place. We carried on walking, comforted by the occasional passing Police car and some foot patrols (Thank you Police!). Were we just being paranoid? Our emotions swung from angry for being made to feel afraid in our home city and almost guilty for being out when so many people were suffering the loss of their homes, businesses or loved ones. We really needed something to take our minds off things and to restore some semblance of normality.

Outside the cinema we wondered whether we had time for a quick drink to steady our nerves – Bar Estilo offers great cocktails and there’s a bar overlooking the river nearby. We decided to indulge ourselves with chocolate instead and spent a while selecting appropriate sweeties. Then we learned that Bridesmaids was on in Red Lion Street so we wandered around the corner.

The cinema was almost entirely full of females and we wondered whether the four or five blokes who were accompanying their girlfriends were metroguys or just super-dedicated boyfriends. We were concerned that the level of chatter through the ads and trailers would continue into the movie.

On the trailers I have to say that the next Moonlight film – Breaking Dawn – looked good – Jacob tearing off his shirt and rushing to the wedding was just the tonic we needed. Those biceps! That six pack! Devil’s Double – about a body double for Sadam’s son – looked pretty good too, lots of gratuitous violence though. I was interested to see that Ann Hathaway is cast in the lead of forthcoming “One day” – I’d heard such good reports about the best selling book, but had been singularly unable to get into it. But the best trailer – generating lots of laughter – was for the Inbetweeners Movie. Looks like that will become a teen classic.

So. Bridesmaids began. With a sex scene. Every girl in the place must have identified with some aspect of the “rhythm” line or the “get up early to look good before he wakes” elements. The scene on the electric gate had us crying with laughter. After just five minutes.

And the great lines and scenes continued. I was holding my belly at the restaurant penis impression and the line “beaver first”. And her ratty-mood-infected sales assistant statement “he may not even be Asian” was followed by the shocking use of the C word which was such a surprise we all laughed again. The film was really a laugh a minute.

There were some scenes that are likely to become movie classics – the competitive speech scene, walking the white line, the multiple vomiting in the wedding dress shop and the “accident” in the street. AC/DC’s “Dirty deeds done dirt cheap” accompanied a girls out to score real points tennis match. Matt Lucas as the flat mate was creepily authentic.

The movie had everything you’d expect from a chick flick – puppies, cupcakes, raccoons, dress shops, friends getting married, girls night out high-jinx and even a hint of romance (with a cop with a soft Irish accent) – but it also had lots and lots of attitude and a non-stop stream of laughs. If you need cheering up, this is absolutely the movie for you. We walked out into the dark of the High Street and all was still, thankfully, calm.

And as we walked back to the station, smiling at the Police there, we thought how much we’d like to attend a shower or hen night with a “Fight Club” theme.