It’s a fact that nobody quite knows why we celebrate Bank Holidays, the wise say it dates back to when the bankers gave their lives for our sins in a time when they were both morally in tune with the world around them and aware of how awesome all the days off would be for the rest of us. Whatever the reason (and we’ll never really know), it’s the last one of the year so let’s celebrate the end of summer with that most British of pass times- afternoon tea. Now, throw your pinkies in the air and wave them like you just don’t care.
Sketch
We start off with the darling of the avant-garde tea world, Sketch and its Parlour room that comes straight out of the court of Louis XV. This is the only place in town where it’s acceptable to be seen indulging in sticky fingers and clotted cream covered faces (Oooh, matron) in public. The quality of the dainty sandwiches and pastries is sublime but this one’s all about the luxe of a palatial cup of tea. Monsieur, with these scones, you’re really spoiling us.
Treacle
Treacle on Columbia Road boasts of its dazzling cupcakes and simple, no frills mugs of tea to wash them down with and for most of us that’s all we need to call an afternoon a winner. Cupcakes may have become a victim of their own saccharine success but when they taste like Treacle’s it’s difficult to care. The colours summon childhood memories and on a budget this is one of London’s best.
OXO Tower
This is the curve ball known as Not Afternoon Tea, a daily event in the upper echelons of the OXO Tower in a world where everything is opposite. Forward is backward, backward is forward and instead of tea and scones it’s cocktails and chocolate tarts. If you find the concept of afternoon tea a little stuffy then this is the place to be with the all the views, the haute cuisine and the subversive switching of an institution.
Maison Bertaux
Not particularly afternoon tea but it’s one that everyone should visit, especially if you’ve ever questioned London’s romantic credentials. Not quite the hidden gem it was but now more people are enjoying the best window display of cakes in the city, zany artwork and the café’s unmistakable Breton bohemia. Tres cool.
The Lanesborough
It has to end on a traditional note and what could be more lavish than afternoon tea at the Lanesborough Hotel with the company of Britain’s only in-house tea sommelier to guide you. On a bank holiday this could only be bettered by the presence of a jumbo screen showing old Bond movies, but you can’t have it all. The silver service means jackets and shoes unless you want to look like a doofus in front of the tea sipping fraternity you now call friends and what tea sipping there is to be had. On top of the usual trimmings of scones and finger sandwiches the tea is picked for the season and it’s just as well there’s a master on hand to help you through the mazy menu. All this is just £35.00 per person and you could always make it Irish with a glass of Tattinger.
