The Vagina Monologues at Richmond Theatre

I’ve wanted to see this show for a while – and was delighted that last night it arrived for one night only in Richmond. When something is billed as “the ultimate girls’ night out” you expect there to be a mostly female audience – but there were just three token (brave) guys in the audience amongst all the young and old, fat and thin, black and white, traditional and modern and every other kind of woman in the audience.

The stage bore just three stools, with tables in between bearing three bottles of water and a black backdrop with sparkling star lights gently twinkling. The three women walked calmly onto the stage – Wendi Peters (Coronation Street), Louisa Lytton (Eastenders and The Bill) and Tiana Benjamin (Eastenders) – each holding a pack of cards from which they would read the stories.

We were told that the production is based on a series of 200 interviews by Eve Ensler with woman from around the world on the subject of, you guessed it, their vaginas. Cue much nervous giggling. Already.

By way of introduction, we were reminded of the various names by which this part of the female anatomy is known. More confident laughter now. Then we were given the first of many short monologues – this one about a woman whose husband had a thing about hair and wanted her to shave her vagina. Then we heard what women said their vaginas would wear – and various humorous responses followed, my favourite of which was “Marks & Spencers – this is no ordinary vagina, this is an M&S vagina”. Then what our vaginas would say if they could speak – much more laughter here at the responses, including, of course “Slow down”.

Then another monologue – this time about an old woman who after an early embarrassing flood had disconnected with her vagina long ago. At this stage we learned the clitoris facts (which we were asked to repeat – in true audience participation, pantomime-style several times): “There are 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris which is more than there are in the fingertips, the lips and tongue. And twice as many as in the penis”. Then there was another monologue about a vagina workshop where we heard how a group of women were encouraged to look at their vaginas and to learn how to pleasure themselves.

Then there was a rather sad and moving monologue – “My vagina was my village” recounting the story of an African woman who was brutally raped repeatedly. Unfortunately, the nervous giggling of one member of the audience made it difficult to concentrate on what was being said but the seriousness and great sadness of this tale had an impact on everyone. Some World Health Organisation statistics on the extent of female circumcision (110-140m women worldwide and 15,000 British girls each year) provided further sombre reflections.

And then we were back to the comedy – and a consideration of the awkwardness of internal exams, tampons and thongs. Towards the interval I was getting a tad weary of all the vagina stories and happily escaped to the bar and a G&T for some much needed refreshment.

We returned to more serious stories about the extent of sexual abuse amongst the homeless. There was a fabulous sketch then – led by Wendi Peters – on “Reclaiming c***”. This was truly a shocking but laugh-out-loud commentary. We then learned in which States it is illegal to sell vibrators – and where the fines for doing so are $10,000 and a year of hard labour, although it was pointed out that guns were available to purchase legally in those same States. Then there was a story of a sex worker – whose clients were women who learned to moan – and another story of brutal rapes and sexual torture (this time from Bosnia).

The show supports the charity Vday which aims to stop violence against women and girls. There was then a fabulous piece of comic acting by Louisa Lytton who showed the impact of a Viagra fuelled session – complete with fireworks. The final story focused on the miracle of birth.

Mmmn. Yes, there were lots of laughs. Many of which were nervous. Yes, there were some serious (and sad) moments. But there was a sort of sense of community created - I can’t even begin to imagine what the men present would have thought of it all! Yet most women seemed to enjoy the show tremendously. It was, in some respects, quite liberating even if uncomfortable in parts. An hour and a half devoted to vaginas – well, why not?

The show has moved on again but will return to London (Harrow) on 26th November. Otherwise, you’ll need to catch the next tour…

http://vaginamonologues.co.uk/