Keanu’s no longer my hero – The day the earth stood still

I’ve been a Keanu fan for as long as I can remember. From when he was a goofy teenager in Parenthood. From his zaniness in the Bill and Ted movies. And his evolution into more mature roles in Speed and Point Blank (although I preferred the comedy references in Hot Fuzz!). Of course, The Matrix films were what did it for me. That cool, unemotional, sexy, hero martial arts saving-the-world stuff and all clad in tight fitting leather…..Oh my!

So. I persuaded my best mate that she absolutely had to come to see “The day the earth stood still” last night when it opened. And it took some persuading I can tell you. I remember the 1950s version really well. Probably one of my fave old movies.

So. After fortifying ourselves with drinks and dinner we arrived at the cinema for the 930pm show. Surprisingly, the cinema was practically empty. Had they believed the awful reviews? Foolish them! This is Keanu! The PR splash has been huge!

So. It started. Nice special effects. But this is the film where no one smiles. Not Keanu. Not Kathy Bates. Not the dark haired heroine. Everyone holds this grim set face to the camera. When Keanu appears as the alien he is the same non-smiling, emotion free actor we all love and adore. But he was even more wooden than usual. And he is looking old and thin too now. And it makes his acting skills – or lack of them – even more apparent.

The story is as the original film with a few twists. We loved the big anti-violence robot. The American army was portrayed as gun happy imbeciles. We were constantly warned about the need to change our ways – but left to work out in what ways throughout. Which is either very deep and clever or completely naff. You decide.

There are loads of special effects. But some are repeated a bit too often. I really loved the nano locust robots that set about destroying the planet. Yet we found ourselves waiting for the end so we could leave the cinema – not caring whether earth and mankind survived or not. Disappointing. This had the potential to be a really great film – but they missed the opportunity.

Will Smith’s (another firm favourite on my list of yummy actors) son Jada really stole the film. What a great kid! So cute! Although one scene by the gravestones was a tad too contrived.

So. Even if you, like me, are one of Keanu’s greatest fans prepare yourself to be disappointed. And prepare yourself too to have to face a future where Keanu is no longer your hero. Truly, my world did stand still in that cinema last night.

:cry: