Christmas at the London Dungeon

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Shoppers can again enjoy the perfect antidote to the hell of Christmas shopping by taking time out at London's grisliest visitor attraction this Yuletide!

With queues that stretch for as far as the eye can see, murderous prices and demonic store assistants… the annual gift trail can be perfect torture.

In typical anti-festive style therefore, the London Dungeon will be spreading ill-will amongst all men in an alternative 'Satan's grotto', from 13th to 26th December.

Elves impaled on spikes and robins roasting over an open fire will greet visitors to the Tooley Street attraction, whilst Santa gently boils in a witch's cauldron.

Only the naughtiest of children can perch on the knee of the sprawling red-cloaked prince of darkness before confessing their secret desires … but beware wishes often come true!

Cross his palm with silver to try the 'yucky dip' or get expertly made up as a scary monster to claim revenge on frosty festive shoppers once back on the high street.

There's the chance to catch the plague; follow the trail of Jack the Ripper… and even be condemned by an unforgiving judge to ride the Traitor: Boat Ride to Hell… if you are brave enough.

"Satan's Grotto is becoming an annual event in itself," said Dungeon boss Vicky Brown.

"We just aim to bring some light relief and offer somewhere for shoppers to escape the never ending onslaught of adverts and jingle bells," she added.

And from the ghostly and ghastly to the gruesome and gory, there's a multitude of gory gifts on offer that make an ideal present for the awkward, unloved or plain unpopular relative.